January 2025

My daughter, Hope, passed away two years ago on February 3rd.

I have two marvellous grandchildren.

What Hope did in the last months of her life was to package up presents for her boys, Isaiah (13) and Jaya(11), for each birthday and Christmas up until they reach the age of 21.  Each present comes with a special card.

Not everyone has it in them to do something like this and I think it’s really special.

For this Xmas Isaiah and Jaya received a Volkswagen model each. They had to put them together like they were jigsaw puzzles. This brought them a lot of joy because it was like they were touching their mother and listening to her as she told them how much she loved them. They could hear Hope laugh, she had a very special laugh. She laughed often, even as she was dying. Hope reached over to add something to the puzzle and the warmth of her permeated the room. The boys were born lucky.

Hope did love her boys, she was a very loving and sincere woman.

I can remember one time walking along George Street in Dunedin with my mother. I must have been four or five years old. My mother was wearing a long luxurious coat with a fur collar. I was holding her hand, it was very warm. The air was filled with her special smell and I felt like a little prince or even a King. It was a very special feeling of closeness and safety. Though the street was very busy, I paid little attention to it. All that really mattered was the feeling between my mother and myself. We got a taxi home, a Mark 2 Zephyr, and it went in a special way, much different from the cars we had at home. We had “old bombs” and the Zephyr was luxurious, much like the day. The taxi driver was wearing some kind of sweet smelling aftershave and he was friendly and well-spoken. He even opened the door for my mother. My mother wasn’t used to this type of thing. In that instant she became even more beautiful. She glowed.

These things are what love is about. This rhythm moves backwards and forwards between people. This rhythm is encouraging and nurturing, it takes away the loneliness of everyday life. There is not a machine on earth that can convey the same feeling. Love is slow and it is beautiful, it casts aside time. My grandsons were incredibly lucky to have Hope and it was very cruel that this love was shattered when she died. But they are still in touch, still holding each other. It’s a love that lasts forever. Blessed people know that, they breathe it.

True love is hard to find. When it is discovered it saves us. We go from a bitter world to one of softness. When we have that love when we are little nothing fazes us. Life becomes easy as it goes along. We are always surrounded by the softness of our mothers. It is bliss.

And now for the fish and chips.

In true love everything tastes better. When I was at Arthur Street primary school in Dunedin I’d often walk down that huge hill down to Rattray Street and buy fish and chips at lunchtime. I forget how much they cost but they were wrapped up in newspaper and the idea was that you’d rip a hole across the top and eat them as you walked back to school, up past Speights Brewery, then past Otago Girls High School and on to Arthur Street.

Fish and Chips never tasted better. I have been unable to secure that taste since those days.

I was very lucky to have tasted those sincere Fish and Chips.

Have a good year everyone. If you like my blog please put a recommendation on the Phantom Billstickers page. Our idea, which is a sincere one, is to take New Zealand Arts, Music and Literature out to the world.

Good Luck!